3 ways small talk makes you a better communicator

Small talk can be a love/hate kinda relationship. And if you’re anything like the old me, I thought it involved surface-level conversation, forcing connections and awkward moments trying to think of what to say next.

But this version of me is happy to say that I was wrong.

There’s more to it.

When you master the art of small talk it can serve as your gateway into deeper, more authentic relationships both at work and home. It’s probably something you’re already doing whether it’s a first date, a job interview, meeting new people or the first day with a new team.

So rather than avoid it, eye roll that you have to do it or do it badly, let's look at small talk more as a helpful way to interact and be a better conversationalist. Whilst we often think that the spotlight will be on us or we’ll have to think of something interesting to say, that's just our fear talking. Small talk is one of the most natural ways for us to connect as humans.

This week I’m sharing 3 reasons small talk can make you a better, more confident communicator and if you’re ready to embrace it I’ll share exactly how. Keep scrolling…

1. TEACHES YOU TO LEAD A CONVERSATION

There’s a difference between leading a conversation and doing most of the talking (particularly about yourself). Knowing how to lead means asking questions, creating a natural flow between you and the other person and acknowledging what they’re saying. Small talk encourages you to ask questions that go a little deeper and create vulnerability. If you know how to ask the right questions in these situations, you’re going to be able to do the same at work in a meeting or at home with your partner.

2. YOU’LL LEARN HOW TO LISTEN

Being a confident communicator is knowing when to listen and when to talk. As humans, it’s one of the things most of us struggle with. We often listen to respond, share our experiences & inadvertently make the conversation about us or we listen to try and fix how the other person is feeling. When you master small talk, you’ll know exactly when to talk and when silence is powerful. And if you can do this you’ll feel way more confident as a communicator.

3. THE NON-VERBAL CUES WILL GIVE YOU SIGNALS

Non-verbal cues are the things we don’t say. It’s the raise of the eyebrows, the tense lips, the pace you’re talking at, the pitch of your voice (just to name a few), that often say a lot more than our words do. As you practise small talk, you’ll train yourself to pick up on these and adjust the way you respond which in turn, will make you feel far more confident when you’re communicating.

As always, I'd love to hear what's helped you, what's resonated and what you want more of, so drop me an email hello@amiras.co.uk or drop me a DM @the_communicationexpert.

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WHERE CAN YOU ADD SMALL TALK INTO YOUR DAY-TO-DAY LIFE?

I’ve shared this week’s journal prompt above so take 5, grab your phone, a notepad or record your thoughts on a voicenote and spend time reflecting on this question.

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